Collabz

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recently collabo’d with this bottle here in shanghai to extraordinary results.

i was thinking a little bit about some of the worst collaborative projects i’ve ever been involved with. these are listed in no particular order.

FIRST JAWN: a business-related group writing assignment for class where i got minimal response and assistance from others in the group. one of the members was not a particularly strong english writer and chose to undertake the lengthiest section of the paper. Meanwhile, this other girl couldn’t put aside the 20 minutes (or less) required to put together a lousy two-paragraph introductory statement.

i still remember sitting in my parents’ backyard with my laptop, my brain drowning in stress, rewriting every single sentence of that one part. i thought my brain was hemorrhaging. i thought it couldn’t get worse.

i would find myself collaborating with this second TEAMMATE(!) again 2 years later. i had some bad karma that needed to be spent, i suppose.

SECOND JAWN: i remember sitting in my little closet of a room in brooklyn probably after 9 or 10pm on a conference call with my TEAMMATE and other people i had no desire to be speaking with at that moment.

before speaking, i was finishing up my first glass of merlot. by the end of our stupid conversation, i was done with number 4 or perhaps it was 5. it was painful. yet, i was impressed with ability to keep it cool. it was like an out-of-body experience. i was observing and commenting on myself from the corner of the room like a philosopher. it was stupendous. i felt like i was uncovering important anthropological insights that would drive me closer to enlightenment.

wine is tricky sometimes.

THIRD JAWN: the last one happened years ago. i can’t exactly pinpoint the year but i must’ve been late middle or early high school. around then, i was obsessed with this idea of making a GREAT film. i had all the necessary resources. an idea to capture my boring suburban existence (pre-teen/teen angst). a script outline. a camera. friends.

however, we were unable to get past the first scene. the novelty of it all quickly wore off for all of them and they began completely changing things within the scene in my house using my camera. i hated them and i hated myself for letting it all happen. i felt like i was being stepped on. it hurt a lot, metaphorically and emotionally.

with this podcast i’ve been doing now, i’ve continued to run into my fair share of failure. show #41 rings true as one of those terrible bombs/gems. there’ve also been other recordings that will never see the light of day due to an uncomfortable awareness by guests and friends that their voices are being recorded. i get it. podcasting is weird.

did things ultimately all work out for me? i don’t know. i hope they do.

none of my creative ideas are where i want them but perhaps they’ll eventually get there. one thing i do know is you can’t do it relying completely on yourself.

ROUGH DRAFTS THE PODCAST SHOW #44: IT’S BREAKFAST TIME

eat your breakfast with me this morning in america. meanwhile, i’ll eat dinner here in china.

here’s the first podcast i’ve done from china and first podcast of me eating breakfast. don’t worry. i also talk and discuss things. i take it a little slower for this one.

i talk about loneliness, listening to the goddamn dave hill show, and buttering toast. i also personify a washing machine.

otherwise, i think i’m okay. i’ve been waging a war with some bat-shit crazy demons that have been attempting to dominate my psyche. these demons are unreasonable, stupid, probz have bad breath, and will never get laid in their dumb demon lives.

below are the links for you to listen to the episode. enjoy!

iTunes

I Care About You The Listener

jeter’s zen on swole right now…
…
…
…
okay, now you can get back to your transcendental meditation session.

jeter’s zen on swole right now…

okay, now you can get back to your transcendental meditation session.

steveagee:

segoli:

I just thought about this for the first time in a while

I’m laughing so hard right now I’m coughing and crying! 

this is how i envision a film about my life beginning.

this is how i prime myself for a deep & peaceful slumber here in shanghai.

this video is a very important achievement in documentary film.

so important, in fact, that youtube asked whether i would like to consider monetization avenues.

youtube, thank you for your belief.

Urinalz

People aren’t actually “comfortable” having conversations with others while at the urinal, are they?

There’s no way, right?

A Year Ago

whoa, realized i did two wild-ass things exactly a year ago at this time.

firstly, my friend successfully persuaded me to open an okcupid account, which i would go on to promptly delete a couple weeks later.

secondly, later that night, i went fucking dancing somewhere in midtown with this same friend, a bunch of others i didn’t feel particularly relaxed around, and a girl i went to middle and high school with who i never really talked to and was positive hated me.

there’s not enough vodka in the world to minimize my discomfort at latin night. i danced like a timid baby deer and beat the shit out of my ego simultaneously.

around 4 or 5, we finally left and i ate a chicken & rice wrap with white sauce and didn’t talk much because i was still digesting recent events.

fast forward to 6ish and a few of us are standing and chatting on the street in jersey city when we’re approached by a coked up “entrepreneur” and pitched nothing in particular really.

we are all well aware of this look.

here’s pops peering deep deep into my soul w/ a small cup of yoplait yogurt in hand.

he’s a good guy.

very special appearance by my attention-seeking index finger.

this is what lunch over here at the workplace canteen looks like.

do not be fooled. this chinese food is very mediocre at best despite its authentic origins and best intentions to quell the appetite of hungry workers.

and can we talk about how “canteen” is a stand-in for “cafeteria?” it’s opened me up to so many new ideas & possibilities…for words.

china’s changing me, you guyz.

the reason blogging scares me is everything here is a rather accurate summary of interests, influences, and thoughts floating around my head.

i don’t like the process of revisiting them and thinking, “there isn’t even a inkling of significance going on here.”